Call it strategy if you want, you still take risks with your health that you won't permit others to do, and that makes you a hypocrite. I love all of you, but you are a damn hypocrite Wednesday Addams! Overbearing as she is, I still can't help but hope your mother continues to keep an eye on you, at least while I am stuck here and can't protect you myself. You're right though, what happened with Rowan was different than Tyler, but both prove you might be just as bad at judging the intention of boys as you say I am!
But you are right, I have a horrible disposition when it comes to being alone. Is it so bad to want to be a part of a group, so I'm not completely alone here? Sometimes I feel myself wanting to cave in. I went on a walk with one boy, and I could tell he wanted to kiss me, but he leaned in to tuck my hair behind my ear he asked me if I wanted to be "tamed". Gross. I pulled away fast, no way am I gonna be let him turn me into his pet.
Speaking of kissing, I've walked in on Marie and Claire (the cabin mates I was telling you about), several times. I think they know that I won't disclose their secret. They look cozy all curled up, and I can't help but feel a little envious. Obviously I don't spy on them or anything, but sometimes at night when we are hanging out in the cabin, Marie will lay her head on Claire's lap and she'll just run her fingers through her hair, like it's the most natural thing in the whole world. Not that it isn't, but you know, natural like they are just so comfortable with one another. They remind me a little of Yoko and Divina, deeply, deeply in love. I can't help but want what they have.
Sorry for the sentimentality, I know you find it draining. Since it's a letter, I guess you won't be able to drown it out to your typing or cello playing. Are you still playing that piece that you were working on while I was in the hospital. It's so weird, I still hear it when I'm falling asleep, I think my brain must have integrated it or something because I'll be dreaming and then wake up confused as to why you aren't there.
The full moon is in three days. I can't seem to fully shake the fear of transitioning when you aren't close by. You keep me grounded Wednesday, it's no wonder I feel so unsettled.
Thinking of you often, Enid
[ Another letter sent the following day, this one in a larger envelope, with a suncatcher inside. Behind it is a small note: ]
Wednesday,
I'm sure that your response to my emojis is much the same as my response to your criticism of them. That the familiarity of getting the expected response is oddly comforting. I wouldn't want to -nauseate- you, but admit it, you miss the color I bring into your life. Since I can read your faux disdain in your words, I won't entirely spare you my little drawings'm sparing you the tiny little pictures in the margins and attaching an art project I did. So, if you take wax paper and little crayon shavings you can make this stained glass suncatcher. Okay, so it's totally juvenile, but one of the little pups asked if I'd do it with her, and I thought you might be happy if I took a break from running laps around the camp (kidding!). So I made one in the theme of our window and thought you could hang it in yours.
Yours, Enid
P.S. Your mouth did that twitchy little hint of a smile when you saw my art project, didn't it?
no subject
Call it strategy if you want, you still take risks with your health that you won't permit others to do, and that makes you a hypocrite. I love all of you, but you are a damn hypocrite Wednesday Addams! Overbearing as she is, I still can't help but hope your mother continues to keep an eye on you, at least while I am stuck here and can't protect you myself. You're right though, what happened with Rowan was different than Tyler, but both prove you might be just as bad at judging the intention of boys as you say I am!
But you are right, I have a horrible disposition when it comes to being alone. Is it so bad to want to be a part of a group, so I'm not completely alone here? Sometimes I feel myself wanting to cave in. I went on a walk with one boy, and I could tell he wanted to kiss me, but he leaned in to tuck my hair behind my ear he asked me if I wanted to be "tamed". Gross. I pulled away fast, no way am I gonna be let him turn me into his pet.
Speaking of kissing, I've walked in on Marie and Claire (the cabin mates I was telling you about), several times. I think they know that I won't disclose their secret. They look cozy all curled up, and I can't help but feel a little envious. Obviously I don't spy on them or anything, but sometimes at night when we are hanging out in the cabin, Marie will lay her head on Claire's lap and she'll just run her fingers through her hair, like it's the most natural thing in the whole world. Not that it isn't, but you know, natural like they are just so comfortable with one another. They remind me a little of Yoko and Divina, deeply, deeply in love. I can't help but want what they have.
Sorry for the sentimentality, I know you find it draining. Since it's a letter, I guess you won't be able to drown it out to your typing or cello playing. Are you still playing that piece that you were working on while I was in the hospital. It's so weird, I still hear it when I'm falling asleep, I think my brain must have integrated it or something because I'll be dreaming and then wake up confused as to why you aren't there.
The full moon is in three days. I can't seem to fully shake the fear of transitioning when you aren't close by. You keep me grounded Wednesday, it's no wonder I feel so unsettled.
Thinking of you often,
Enid
[ Another letter sent the following day, this one in a larger envelope, with a suncatcher inside. Behind it is a small note: ]
Wednesday,
I'm sure that your response to my emojis is much the same as my response to your criticism of them. That the familiarity of getting the expected response is oddly comforting. I wouldn't want to -nauseate- you, but admit it, you miss the color I bring into your life. Since I can read your faux disdain in your words, I won't entirely spare you my little drawings'm sparing you the tiny little pictures in the margins and attaching an art project I did. So, if you take wax paper and little crayon shavings you can make this stained glass suncatcher. Okay, so it's totally juvenile, but one of the little pups asked if I'd do it with her, and I thought you might be happy if I took a break from running laps around the camp (kidding!). So I made one in the theme of our window and thought you could hang it in yours.
Yours,
Enid
P.S. Your mouth did that twitchy little hint of a smile when you saw my art project, didn't it?